Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
