So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
A+ Viking dick
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
