Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
