Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize