She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
