True but thats because hes a fetus.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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