What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
