Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize