You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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