would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
This is classic penis vs brain.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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