I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
