Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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