So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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