I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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