i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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