; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
