I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize