There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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