wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
