Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize