Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
