SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
why is half of my head shaved?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
