I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
