So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
