I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
