i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize