Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize