Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I AM VODKA MAN
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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