I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
