Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize