Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
