The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize