I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
