hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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