You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
