My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
