You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
