What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
