i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
