We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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