Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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