saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
