So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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