your room smells of hookers.
And success
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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