Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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