There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
