we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize