definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
