Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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