she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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