i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
