im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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