there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
