I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
