I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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