the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I will be naked everywhere
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
