It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
