That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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