cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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