If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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