WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
