So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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