Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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